True love means?

 Venus and Buddha slowly emerge from the seas snow..

Loss of electricity means a lot of what I regularly do does not happen-- like writing on the new novella. We do have wood heat. We have lots of candles, a kerosene lamp, camping gear if required. What we didn't have was internet, as our hot spot which works great on trips is no help when you live where there is no cell phone coverage.

So with the battery from the trailer, I am able to be on once in awhile. We actually had a very nice generator... that is we thought it was very nice until it stopped working. Lucky we have the big RV batteries. Hopefully the power guys will get it back up. They keep saying in 48 hours-- except they've been saying that since Saturday night... Makes you not have much faith-- that and there are these scattered outages across the valley.

So in times like this, I have backups-- things I found interesting but hadn't run. They're easier than writing something longer that might get lost...

When we think about falling in love, which is what romances are ALL about, we are torn as realistic human beings-- unhappy or happy ending? Well a romance will have a happy ending. It's mandatory. But does life? Sometimes my best answer is-- how do we define happy?

There is the beginning...

There is then the other side-- I recently saw a set of articles on Ted Turner who is turning 75. I mean, my gosh, this guy is the romantic hero of today. He's complex, not easy to be with, has a tortured past, and has had a lot of romances. The most famous was with Jane Fonda. As soon as I mention her name, I know how many righties will scream their rage (It's as bad as talking about Custer to a leftie). Okay, I get it but you know nothing is as simple as some want to think it is.

Ted Turner and Jane Fonda

To see that whole story, you have to look at the videos alongside where she talks about their love and what went wrong.. or did it since they had a marriage that lasted 10 years.  How do we see that? Happy ending? Or not?

There are a ton of stories like this which leads to many writers writing only unhappy endings as though that's the reality of life. Is it? Are romances not possible to end in a happily ever after?

When I write a book like 'Tucson Moon' I have to believe this couple could make it work. Whether they end up with a lifetime of fifty years, which my husband and I will have if we last until next September, or whether it means an intense love that fills the skies with its energy.. who is to say...

The story of Cord and Priscilla, and yes, I believe it's their story (give or take a lie or two) will end when the book does. Does their story end there?

And it's all about ____ or is it?

 the comforter on the sofa is for the cats as it traveled with them to Arizona and back as their consistent comfort-- we all need that sometimes, right?

Boy have I been getting lessons in human nature and that includes my own. I've had some experiences that challenged me to live what I claim to believe or admit I never did except when it was words. 

At night, I've had dreams where I'd wake thinking-- is that it? Is that what life is about? I love those kinds of dreams even the scary ones (and there've been a few of those too). I ask for them. Nighttime is when I can let go of my expectations and the chaos in my head and let whatever comes-- come.

During the day, I also am happy for the experiences -- negative and hurtful or enriching and empowering. I have learned that when I live it as I claim to believe-- it all works better. I think the whole set of experiences is part of grasping what life is about-- which for me always reflects into my writing-- especially of the books.

There are writers, some very successful, million selling writers, who write whatever the market wants. They will literally sell their souls-- okay figuratively-- to be successful. If they know readers want it, they will try to deliver it. There are other writers who have something inside themselves that needs to come out through their words and stories. They will stick to that even if not as successful in terms of money.

So my latest dreams have encompassed events in them, but more important was what I was left with when I woke. Here are the questions with which I've been left to ponder.

In the first dream, I woke thinking-- what if there is no one truth for life? What if how you live, what you believe is how it will be?  So you believe life is dust to dust and all biology. You can live it that way and at least until you die, it's how it will be. Or maybe even then. What if we decide that and even then it can be dust to dust.

OR what if you are a wiccan and you believe in learning spells, use of potions, rituals, and maybe even are part of a circle. You live it that way, follow the Celtic traditions, use the incantations (never forgetting that what you put out you get back three times) in responsible ways and it works.

OR you are a Christian/Buddhist/Hindu/Islamist and you live your religion as true to its essence as you can. Prayer is answered. You feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. It works.

Might it be why we end up with so many people thinking they have the truth. We have assumed that there is one truth, but maybe there literally is not. There are many. If you live one of them totally, it will be true-- for you.

There is a limit to this thinking in that you might live it totally for you, but there are still the rules of the earth. You can believe all you want that a tornado is not coming straight at you. Can you really change it? Well the greatest seers, which include the one they call Jesus, who may have gotten his training from Eastern seers, did believe that you could. Most of us never live life to that level of certainty though. And the ones who think they are but are ignoring the earthly consequences as they go, they probably are thought balmy by others. They don't get it either. To have your own truth be literally true, there has to be evidence of a physical nature.

Okay that was one dream; and when I woke I thought of the corollary to it-- that we can do whatever we want but only as we go up the scale of understanding what that means. Rules are made to be broken but not by those who don't know why they were ever there. They can be broken as one grows in understanding of why they exist and why it's best to break them. So disciplined living grows into what appears to be freedom-- but really is about growth in understanding consequences and being able to weigh them. 

This fits a lot of the thinking in Christianity which is never actually followed-- or should I say rarely. It's just too easy to follow rules set by an earthly leader and most never get beyond that. But it's not how it's set up-- at least in that one religion.

The second dream fit into the second anthology that I will be writing to follow When Fates Conspire. I have to say that hardly anyone has given the first book a try. I don't know why. Perhaps though books that explore spiritual dimensions within a possible romance just don't suit the average reader in any genre. 

But the wonder of writing is you don't have to stop when readers didn't like what you wrote. You can go on and write the next step. That fits with the philosophy above where we live our truth and it becomes true. A writer's truest truth is not that they get a lot of money for what they do. It's that they write their truth as best they know it to be without selling out. I don't want to find any other way to live my life-- as what I write is part of what makes me who I am.

The interesting part for me is the second novella in this series, for wont of a better word, will be how evil impacts us. I am putting it together in my head, but it seemed, despite my own reluctance to think much about evil, it was the next step in what will be a trilogy. Then came a dream...

Using our dreams

If you are one of those people who dream vivid dreams, it can be useful in your writing of a book or short story. I've had it help me with more than one of mine. The issue is how exactly can our dream worlds be used?

To start it helps to have a dream journal alongside your bed. I cannot count the times I've had a dream that seemed likely to be book material but after breakfast I have no idea what it was about. Write it down even if you are sure you won't forget.

If you sleep with someone, telling them the dream is helpful also. I don't know why just remembering it isn't enough but for me it isn't. Once I have verbalized it, I hold it better.

Often dreams are filled with symbolisms which may not work for the plot of a book but might be useful to flesh out a character. I've used some of my dreams as a dream in the book when the symbolisms fit the storyline. I've also made up dreams that enriched the foreshadowing of what's coming.

It's interesting to wonder about what makes a dream happen especially movie dreams. I've had some where I know I can't use them as they aren't in my genre, but they are worth writing down for a possible future where that changes. If nothing else, they are as much fun as watching a movie but where I have some control over the outcome as I find I can do lucid dreaming to take a dream where I want it to go.

When dreams aren't about writing in a book or creating a character, they can have value for our personal lives based on what our subconscious might be trying to tell us. I go to a dream site for ideas on what a color might mean or perhaps an insect that is not normally found in my life.

My favorite site for that is Dream Moods. 

So for instance when I had the dream where you could tell when someone was a bad person by the translucent color red on their throat, which not all people could see, I looked it up. The color red represents, "an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage, impulsiveness and passion." That makes it a logical color for the warning but what about it being on the throat?

Although the dream dictionary didn't give me the answer to that, my own interpretation is perhaps it relates to not trusting what others say or their words. It wasn't my throat but someone else's. We know we need to be wary of what we trust in the news or from leaders. That dream might not have related to any possible story (unless I get into writing horror which I don't see happening) but to my own life.

Her Dark Angel

Sometimes a book gets its start from a dream as I mention below here. I'll discuss more about how I think we can use dreams in the next blog.

nighttime dreams

 digital painting based on photos

For me, dreams can lead to books or give insights to life. The dream I had the other night would make a good short story, I think (with all on my plate, I won't be the one writing it). Mostly I think my dreams relate to my daily life and when I think about them a bit, I can see how. The following is the recent one.

The boy was exceedingly handsome and a senior in high school. He was developing himself into the person he was yet to be. He had a problem. He was gay, and he lived in a world that didn't accept that as a valid lifestyle. He hadn't acted out on what he knew he was, but he saw it as an issue in his life.

Pizzas seemed to be part of this dream off and on with various toppings and ordered from different places as he or other characters would order and eat one.

The young man had a mentor who was as handsome as he. This man knew of the boy's true nature. I think he also was gay. The youth talked to him about what he saw. He felt that he could hide who he was and never know love. The man said that's not true. He could live secretly and have many lovers, both men and women, but what he would never know is one true love. However, if he revealed his true self, he might still not find that one true love and he would pay a high price in his community.

The day came when the youth learned he was Valedictorian of his school. A very attractive young woman was Salutatorian and she and he sat on some chairs as they were being told how the ceremony would go when they graduated. The mentor stood not far from the boy, and I would assume he was telling him without words to hide his nature and live life as fully as possible while part of who he was would remain hidden from most of the world. He would sacrifice one thing for another. 

When the dream ended, the young man had made his decision and his Valedictorian speech would reveal it. The answer wasn't given in the dream, but I felt that he would stand up, throw out the approved speech and tell the audience that he was gay and why it mattered that he speak his truth. Although I never saw him do it, I felt I saw into his heart for his intention.

When I was awake and thinking about what this meant, I saw it as applying to my life and to us all. We can live the truth that satisfies everybody around us. We can be who they want and while it might not be as extreme as sexual gender, it could be lifestyle, career, how we dress, our religion or a multitude of things. We all have had that choice from youth, but we have it now today no matter what our age. 

Do we want to live our truth openly when it might upset those around us? Will we be rewarded by revealing ourselves? I do not think we always are, and definitely speaking our truth isn't always appreciated. It isn't easy either as whatever the real us might be, it often isn't what culture, family or friends want it to be.

I wouldn't say the dream revealed what should be done either as this boy did have a choice. He could live either way-- but one way was truer to his nature than the other. One had the potential for a fuller life. But there were no guarantees of that. The guarantee was that he could live true to himself or live out a lie. It was his choice. It is the one we all make-- most likely many times in a lifetime.

 Tarot card is from my Gilded Tarot deck...yes, I have more than one such deck-- and yes, I sometimes do readings from them :)