letting the reader know

Every now and again, what I read elsewhere leads to my rearranging the order in which I publish here. This time, it was the question of heat in romance novels. It came up in a writer/reader group to which I belong. The question was asked, and I'd pretty much say ended up divided, as to whether the readers wanted sex in their books or not. 

Image purchased from Period Images

One thing that gets to me, when such questions arise, is some of the readers use two terms I dislike regarding romances with no sex-- sweet and clean. 

Starting with sweet-- To me, sweet is like a Jane Austin where the people are gentle, living ordinary lives and economics or social issues are their biggest dilemmas. The so-called sweet romances, which a lot of these readers are discussing, might have a heroine on the run from an evil uncle who means her wrong. They might have a gunman hero, who shoots those who get in his way. Sweet, with violence in it, just does not work for me.

And clean seems just as wrong. It implies sex is dirty or maybe it's that to read about it is dirty. That same reader who finds it dirty could read about it in a sex manual and that would be okay-- just keep it clinical. But to put it into fiction, with healthy examples of how two people 'get it on' that's dirty. 

Yes, sex can be crude and demeaning and that which uses others, but it isn't dirty by its nature. It is a beautiful thing that is meant to bond a committed couple together in a way that goes beyond holding hands. 

As a writer, I respect the desire wish of those who want zero sex. Books should not bushwhack a reader. For the writer, it is beneficial to let readers know what to expect. I used to use 'for adult readers' or spicy but that doesn't really say much. Neither would a movie code as PG-13 can be pretty 'hot' these days.

So I began thinking of a code that I could put at least on my descriptive blogs as a way to alert readers what to expect in the book. For now, I've come up with this as a header on blogs that describe the books:

Romances are books about relationships and falling in love. They may or may not have sex within. Because mine vary for the 'heat' level, I devised this chart. If you find a book that interests you, look for the hearts.

♥ ------holding hands, perhaps a gentle kiss
♥♥ ---- more kisses but no tongue-- no foreplay
♥♥♥ ---kissing, tongue, caressing, foreplay & pillow talk
♥♥♥♥ --all of above, full sexual experience including climax
♥♥♥♥♥-all of above including coarser language and more frequent sex

I may amend it. I still am not sure how I can use it in a blurb. If I can work that out, it will help readers and me. No writer wants an unhappy reader. It's fair to let them know, where it's possible, what they will find in terms of sexuality. For some people, who won't skip over what they don't like, this is a big issue.

Sex in a romance novel, in my experience, is intended to warm the reader above the belt-- not below (not saying it might not do that too but it's not its purpose). I like writing the couple when they come to the closest relationship two people can have. I like it when it enriches their relationship, when it helps them see what their connection is, and it goes beyond flesh to the soul. I happen to believe it is healthy for the readers also as it gives them ideas on what is possible.

Erotica, which some think of as romance, really isn't. It's aimed at below the belt. Erotica is far more descriptive with very graphic language. It is where you get into kink, but mostly consensual (from what I've seen).

Erotica is written to arouse. Sex scenes in romances are not. They are aimed at taking the couple further into their relationship. They might make the reader's heart beat faster, but it's more about their relationship. In my books, only committed (but not necessarily married) couples have sex. I try to write about what I think enriches our lives and casual sex doesn't-- in my opinion.

The historical romance that I plan to bring out March 23rd was one of my few books that years ago I actually sent off to a publishing house. They kept it quite awhile, which made me hopeful. After months, it came back. They told me it was too steamy for their line. I had to laugh. In the book (back then), the couple never actually did it. But yes, they were wanting to. I wasn't going to take that building desire out of the book, nor did I want to make it steamier for a publishing house where they might want the couple doing it one-third of the way through.

Now when I am bringing it out in March, it still has the steam, but 'doing' it still has the same complications. There were reasons for the delay. They are on a wagon train for Pete's sake-- not a lot of privacy for an unmarried or married couple, but it still qualifies as ♥♥♥♥ -- just takes awhile to get that last heart. :)

it's all about the choices

 I am an avid reader of human interest stories. People interest me. If you and I were sitting across from each other, with cups of  coffee or tea, I'd be interested in your life, your experiences. From where that comes, I cannot say other than it's been a part of my life since childhood. I remember sitting where I could listen to the adults talk-- that is until they would see me.

So newspaper articles like this fit into my curiosity about human nature, how we figure out what works for us, as well as what we choose to do that fouls up our whole life-- when we head down a detrimental path. The lady who got into trouble with this said--

It was just pranks 

No, it was not. It was way beyond pranks. It seems crazy, but when a person who is not crazy does such things-- how did they get there?

Making such behavior seem believable in a book can be dicey. We might shake our head at a newspaper story; but in fiction, we want it to make sense. Not everything humans do makes sense or even fits a pattern. When a man shoots his neighbor because he cut down a tree or over a parking space or because the neighbor is the wrong religion, it seems insane, and yet it's part of human nature-- the dark part.

For writers looking for ideas for plots, I suggest reading human interest stories. They are out there, and one of them may lead to the next step in the situation you've been thinking would work for a book.

Take that woman in the link, who was being very malicious-- while she calls it pranks. How far was she from physically harming the couple? Stay on a path and each step takes you to the next one-- or because we are human, we can change our path. It's always a choice although I wonder if at a certain point, the choices are gone.

For me, it's not hard to see how someone who was once seemingly normal can turn into someone who is a full fledged sociopath or worse a psychopath. Are we born into that or do we turn into it?

Answering that question is what makes for great plots.

In my book, Tucson Moon, I used the step-by-step down a path in showing how someone becomes a villain. The guy had been weak, self-centered, and manipulative in the book before it, Arizona Sunset. He was slowly moving, with each choice, into a position where he would not just orchestrate or manipulate others into something bad but was willing to go all the way himself. Little by little, as he made choices, he became someone who would harm others without a second thought.

Life works that way-- either way. Step by step someone becomes a hero or a villain and it's all about the choices along the way.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote a piece for Smart Girls Read Romance and it's up today--  

the non-traditional heroine.

Reality is what exactly?

Currently I have a lot going on where I could write about it-- especially editing issues; but I had another thing I've been setting aside related to where a writer finds inspiration-- which is sometimes from the news. While I am doing word for word editing to get the first Oregon historical in shape to come out, I thought I'd share a few of those stories that interested me-- even though currently they aren't playing into a story of my own.

One of the complaints about romances is they are not realistic enough. Except what is realistic? There are things that happen in life that simply cannot be explained. Such a story was in the Missoulian a week or two back.

a bizarre death that isn't the whole story

If you take the time to read the story, I think it offers some interesting thoughts. The one that I particularly liked was this,

"...Wayne came to her one other time, as she sat in a kiva at the sacred Chaco Canyon site in the Four Corners region during a vacation. You belong here, she says he told her, and so she packed her belongings, found 35 acres in a remote canyon, built a home and found her calling in Navajo education. Paula, now 69, remains there today."     from the Missoulian

I've sat in those kivas, like the one in the photo above. We spent several nights in the campground in 1999, sleeping in our van and walking the trails to various ruins. There is a very mystical feel there whether one has a lost love or not. 

The belief is that Chaco, which has very photographic ruins, was not where the Anasazi people lived other than possibly priests. It was a spiritual center and roads lead to it from communities all around New Mexico and northern Arizona. People doubtlessly came there for their rituals and important religious celebrations-- some of which might be much like the Hopi have today.

Chaco is a place that goes beyond special with some ruins right off the loop drive and others that require a hike. I can so relate to what this woman felt and how their story didn't end with his death. Many people have had such experiences but only share them with the ones who will understand and not feel they are crazy.